An Offer You Should Refuse
by Scarlet Path
Summary: Scotland gives England a visit with business in mind. But why is France snickering about this?  Rated T just to be safe


It was a beautiful day in London. The sun was high, the birds were singing and there was a nice gentle breeze in the air. England had decided that it was the perfect time to go outside to the gazebo for a spot of tea. With a peaceful sigh, he brought up his tea cup to his lips, humming in appreciation of the taste of the Lavender Earl Grey tea he had chosen to have. Gazing out to the garden, he allowed for his mind to wonder, not realising that a unexpected guest was walking over to him.

"Wonderful day isnae it, brother?"

Came the very familiar voice of England's oldest brother, Scotland. To say the least, England was not at all expecting such a visit, let alone one from Scotland. He nearly spat out the tea that he was recently enjoying.

"W-what the bloody hell are you doing here?"

England said, nearly sputtering as he quickly tried to regain his composure. He grabbed a napkin and dabbed the corners of his mouth, giving his brother a half glare. Though Scotland amusingly scoffed, rolling his eyes a bit before taking the extra seat without invitation. Crossing one leg over the other and hanging his arm over the back of his chair.

"Nae need tae be soo rude. Cannae I come over tae see my wee brother, England?"

England just scowled and pointed a finger at the Scotsman.

"Not if you are here to cause trouble! I won't have any of your shenanigans when you are in my house!"

The red head's face hardened slightly at his brother's tone of voice. Not liking at all that England thought of himself better than him. Usually it was England that causes the fights between them, trying to take his land, his people's freedom, their rights... Scotland quickly shook his head, getting rid of such thoughts. It was a new age now. It was nearing the mid 1800's, and things were seeming to settle down a bit between them.

"Ye wound me, England. Is that whit ye think of me? I actually came here coz I have a interestin' proposition for ye."

He ended his words with a smirk and a raised eyebrow, an action that told England that what he was talking about was something that would be of much interest. Getting his attention, England curiously looked over at his brother, placing his folded hands in his lap.

"Really now? What is it that you speak of?"

Scotland's smirk grew a little more, knowing that he had gotten England's interests. Clearing his throat, he leaned back in his chair.

"Well, ye see... one of mah boys, Gregor MacGregor, has came across a interestin' piece of land over in the southern Americas. Actually, he was given this land, ah.. Poyais, by a native chief king in the area. I'll tell ye, it is a gem of a place, fertile lands, untapped resources and thaur ar even some Brits livin' in the area already."

Scotland spoke enuthusiastically, using his hands as he spoke of his new found colony. The happy grin on his face and the twinkle in his eyes showed the happiness that he was feeling at the moment.

"Now, Gregor is doing a braw job in raisin' mah wee colony, but I need yer help. We need more people to come over tae Poyais and merchants too, So... in exchange for yer help, I'll sell ye part of poyais tae ye."

England just stared at Scotland as if he had grown a extra head. Did his ears just deceive him?

"Really now? For my help for doing just that, you'll sell me part of Poyais to me?... How much do I dare say?"

Scotland just grinned at the idea of business with England.

"Lets work somethin' out."

**Switch to a day later and to a contract waiting to be signed...**

"Why is the bloody Frog here?"

England huffed, crossing his arms tightly over his chest, staring daggers at the Frenchmen.

"He is here coz we need a witness for the signin' of the contract. It mandatory."

Scotland said, handing England a pen so that he could sign the contract. Scowling even more, he snatched the pen away from his oldest brother and scribbled his name on the piece of paper. France who stood between the brothers, had his hand placed over his mouth in a elegant way, though it showed in his eyes that he was trying not to giggle out loud. It was obvious that he some how saw some humour in all this.

"Here! I signed it, and here is your money. Now give me what you promised me."

England said, reaching over the table to be handed the rights to part ownership of Poyais.

"With pleasure."

Came Scotland's reply, handing England the piece of paper that proved England's rights to part of his colony. England quickly took the piece of paper out of Scotland's hands and read it over with a wide grin. Scotland, on the other hand, took the money promised to him and his signed contract and quickly took off out of the room. France on the other hand...

"Pfffff Hahahaha! Oh! Mon dieu! Hahahaha! I can't believe you fell for such a trick, Angleterre!"

France was in stitches, holding his sides as if they were about to burst. He couldn't help himself but to continue laughing when England started to rant and fume about what France was talking about.

"What do you mean, 'Fell for such a trick'?"

"Oh, mon chou. Did you actually believe mon cher ami, Ecosse? There is no Poyais."

"N-no Poyais?"

"Oui."

"So... no gold... no land... nothing?"

"That is right."

There was a pregnant pause...

"FFFFFFFF*censored*KKKKKKK!"

And so, at the end, England was seriously pissed, France got a huge laugh about it, and Scotland was very proud of himself and bought himself tons of Scotch to celebrate his victory.

The End

* * *

Well, this story is actually based on something that did happen in the 1800's. As mentioned in the story, a Scotsman called Gregor MacGregor *I know... What a name* claimed to be the 'ruler' of a new colony called Poyais *The colony that never was*. He triecked alot of people out of their money when he went around selling parts of the fake land to them. This has to be one of the biggest scandals in history!

I just had to put France in at the end because it was the French that had figured out that Poyais didn't exist. Lol

http :/ en. wikipedia. org/ wiki/ Poyais


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